It's Summer, But That Doesn't Mean Holidays

*wink*

I don't have a summer job; nay, I have not been so fortunate. There is, however, an exam taking place in August that needs to be studied for, and a home essay for English Grammar 2. Furthermore...the tiny little detail that I only received a 2 on my BA thesis. The grade ought to be at least a 3 for me to feel anywhere near comfortable, and not only because I am so self-critical—it's also because in order to continue on to do an MA I need an average grade of 3 or higher in Intermediate Studies, and with such a low grade on my thesis, it's looking unlikely. Had I started at the university a couple of years later than I did, it would also have been a requirement to have at least a 3 for the thesis in addition to the aforementioned average. Fun, aye?

Honestly, when I received the e-mail containing my thesis supervisor's comments and the final grade, I was crushed. As in, started crying uncontrollably, that sort of thing. You don't need to hear about that, though. It took a few moments, but I calmed down and am now resolved to do what needs done.

Thus, some of my time before September shall be spent furiously revising the thesis. I mentioned in my previous entry that I might post the whole thing here, but until it has been significantly improved, that will not be happening. I'm sure you'll survive.

As usual, I'm in Helsinki for much of the summer, staying in my old room at my folks' place. There's a fairly long-winded project underway to clean it, and has been for a while now. My current task is to re-organise the bookshelf. After that, I think I'm going to attack the desk area.

It's not all work, though: I get to be with Laura, to attend Helsinki Pride and Ropecon, aaaaand to... GO TO PARIS WITH MY MUM! We're planning to travel pretty much right after Ropecon, in the junction of July and August, and we'll be there for about a week. I'll have to brush up on the little French I've managed to learn thus far, but that won't be too much trouble. Really looking forward to it.

There you have it, a general sort of summer update. I'll try to blog once or twice a week from now on, but no promises!

Sudden Summer and Other Observations

Summer arrived last Friday after about a day or two of spring. I'm serious. Temperatures just suddenly went up; before that it had still been rather cool. Not that I'm complaining much. I like that it's warm now... but my body doesn't know what to make of this. It feels like I'm melting at 20°C, which previously has been close to an ideal temperature for me. Then again, I've been more sensitive to heat since that one case of heatstroke I had a couple of years ago. Wasn't much fun. Ah well. This weather also doesn't help the near-constant sensation of thirst I've been experiencing ever since I began taking Sertraline. But I guess that's a small price to pay for feeling more balanced. :)

Now, a brief musical interlude:

This song was played to us in DevLit (in the lectures last autumn, not when I took them before... I'll get round to talking about that mess somewhere below) and I immediately liked it, so it stayed in my head afterwards. Perhaps I ought to look for more mediaeval songs to listen to.

I don't listen to nearly as much music as I used to before Jussi and I moved in together. That's actually one of the bigger gripes I have about co-habiting. Otherwise, miscellaneous relationship snags notwithstanding, the situation suits me. I'm not even sure I would know how to live completely on my own. I've never had to. As much as I hated living with flatmates and would have preferred to have the entire space to myself, I don't know that I would have dealt with it very well. It's way too easy for me to slide into full hermit mode when alone.

Apparently, the medication I started a bit over a month ago should also help with the social stuff. I have yet to notice a marked improvement in that regard, but I do handle being stressed out a lot better, and when I start feeling glum I can pull myself back from the spiral that would lead me to suicidal thoughts. I lacked that ability before. I still get bad moments, but they are fewer, and the black is not quite so black anymore.

This, by the way, is where I keep my happy pills:

When I saw these tins at a store where they sell all kinds of cute little stuff for really cheap, I decided I want to store the meds in an adorable box instead of popping one out from the slip every night. I really like it better this way.


So. Literary and Linguistic Developments 500–1660, also known as DevLit. I originally attended the lectures back in the autumn of 2010, passed the exam the following January, and stupidly left the essay to dangle even after receiving an extension all the way into the end of June. Silly, silly girl. As a result, the course remained hanging for some time until I finally came to a decision to simply re-take the whole thing. Thus, I went in for the lectures again, and passed the exam (which by now had the essay component integrated into it)... in April. Because I just fail that much. This was the last chance, too; they're shutting down the course and separating it into at least two independent ones. Wonder how that'll go. It's not for me to worry about, though. I finally have those 8 study points in the bag, and with a grade 4 to boot! Something to be happy about, at least.

Other courses I had this year include (but are not limited to) some Art History as a new minor subject, a few English courses, obligatory Swedish (the written portion of which I passed on the second try, pah) and German. I'm reacquainting myself with the language. It's slow going, but I may be able to obtain some level of fluidity eventually. I did get a 4 from that course, which is encouraging.

I still have a crapload of essays to write, and next Monday I have a book exam on a Lit course I tried to write a lecture journal for but failed. It's lovely that us minor students can handle things by book exam.

I sat the Grammar 2 exam (yet again) and unless I get a pity pass I'm pretty certain I bombed it. I live in hope, though. Either way, when I finally deal with this course and the damned Phonetics one, I can let go of a little bit of the stress I carry around all the time. Of course it'll just be replaced with worries about something else, but hey, change is change.

Yeah, right.


Just got myself an appointment to see a shrink. Woohoo. I really hope it won't take too long to find a compatible one. As a matter of fact... no, wait. I was going to say I hope this one will be good, but she's downtown. That means bus fares. Well, now in the spring and for much of the autumn I suppose I can ride the bike but still. Meh.


This post was supposed to go up yesterday evening, but then we popped over for an impromptu visit to Matt and Anna-Laura's place. They have a bird's nest in a hanging flower pot outside their window! We've ascertained that it's some sort of thrush, but aren't sure of the exact species.

Matt and Jussi talked MtG while A-L and I discussed art nouveau (mostly Mucha) and tattoos. We also had some tea that Laura's fiancé Marc brought me from China. It's a green tea, smells heavenly and tastes pretty good, too. As you can see, Jussi appropriated the box it came in for storing some of his cards. I am fully intending to snatch it back if I ever get a deck or two of my very own. Will have to ask the brother about maybe lending me some of his, since he doesn't play any more.

Well, that's all for now. If you got this far, I commend you for an impressive attention span. Later today, I shall talk about Postcrossing. Ta!